A Lesson in Breadcrumbs

by AMINAH

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about

This is a concept album based on the idea that we are all spiritual beings. The Parable (see The Parable, Outrun me, and Fox Hunt) features a girl lost in a macabre forest and focuses on her relationship with several creatures. At the end of each exchange, the characters exchange “gifts”. Although the gifts range from real to fictional, the real focus is on the energy exchanged between the characters. Life is a series of energy exchanges, some which are fleeting, and some which linger and become a part of us changing our spiritual DNA forever. This story is set somewhere between the physical world we see and the spiritual world we feel. There are spiritual doors that once opened cannot be closed (see Undone). This album explores the concept of various dualities in our lives between protector and destroyer (see Protective Destructive), good and evil, our connection to the living and the dead (see Drowning, Daddy’s Girl & Before the Lights Go Out). From the time we are children we are told fairy tales (see the Parable & Peter Pan) and learn to believe in magic and possibilities and then we grow up and are ripped from that world-- from the enchantment of believing. When we make ourselves vulnerable enough—stop censoring our minds (see Free Will) and allow the veil to be lifted, we are able to finally see things clearly. Through fury, mental exhaustion, insomnia and relentless nightmares, this album was born.

credits

released December 16, 2013

Label: Fox Hunt Records, LLC
Lyrics, music, guitar(s) & vocals: Aminah
Percussion: Brandon Eames
Audio Engineer: Pedro
Recording Studio: Dirty Vynil Entertainment Studios
Photography in album cover: Renata Almeida
Artwork/cover art: William Mendez (www.coroflot.com/williammendez)
Marketing Director: Charlotte Eames

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about

AMINAH Miami, Florida

Aminah is a Boston-bred, Brazilian native—an avid reader of Rainer Maria Rilke and a poet herself. She is influenced by a variety of artists: Maynard J. Kennan, Melissa Ferrick, Ani Difranco, Tori Amos, 7 Year Bitch, & Tom Waits. She has resurrected the words from within her in her first solo full-length album with emotive notes & stirring lyrics. ... more

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Track Name: Fox Hunt
When words fail, and
Images are all you see
The nightmares, the torment
The melancholy, {the lament} (x2)

Should’ve known better
I went hunting for you
Night hunting for you

Missed the sadness, the hurt
The nightmares, {my fox hunt} (x2)

You are my sleepless nights (x2)
Slow blurry torment
I dodged a bullet, they said
But I never got out alive
No, this cannot be alive

Been in a fox hole
Trying to smoke you out
The thought of you hanging over me
Falling like an hour glass guillotine
Cutting me off at every seam

I flat-lined a recovery
Gave up a 6 year sobriety
No camera, no box of light
Traps the darkness
Of my hunting fright

My red blood
In your green daggered eyes

You are my sleepless nights
Slow blurry torment
I dodged a bullet, they said
But I never got out alive
No, this cannot be alive
I can’t help but wonder
Was this your plan all along?
Was it your “happily ever after”
To kill me off? Do you wish me dead?
You never finish what you start

You are my sleepless nights (x2)
Slow blurry torment

The hurt, the nightmares
The fox hunt, my fox hunt

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Free Will
And sometimes light is dark
I can’t tell or pull them apart
I miss when art was art
And you had true free will to feel
To think or say anything
That you felt was real
Now it’s nothing but a paper trail
You gotta cover
Just take cover

Chorus: Can you promise me this goes away
Can you promise this will stop
Or is this just my idle mind
That you are the devil of

I keep pushing, I keep climbing
The harder I push the more alone I am
The recoil knocks me off
because failure was a shot I knew so well

Free will doesn’t matter when you’re too afraid to choose
Free will doesn’t get you higher when you’re too paralyzed to move
Free will doesn’t matter
When you’ve got nothing
Left to lose
I spend my time
Trying to detach
just like you
but you bait me to the noose
with your apocalyptic threats
To cut me loose
Chorus X2

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Protective Destructive
These days
I’m spending lots of time alone
Having nightmares
Within dreams

Dream of you
Protecting me from the world
Nightmare of you
Destroying what you saved behind closed doors

If I end it now
Do you worry
Your hands would be bloody?

Because you’re so incredibly lonely
But can’t get close

Sometimes I need to pull away
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I mean, really how much blood could you stomach
Before you push me away?
I’m sorry

But I’m too afraid to say it
So afraid it could be true
That you’ll never really love me no matter what I do
If you can’t now
Will you never?
Does it mean you never will?

Why is it that you protect me
From the world
Just to destroy me behind closed doors?
Is it because you’re so incredibly lonely
But can’t get close?
Is that why you destroy me?
Is this why you protect me?

If I end it now
Would you worry
Your hands would be bloody?

Is this how you protect me?

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Peter Pan
You know that feeling
When everyone is on cloud 9
And you’re the little boy
Left behind
Trying to play the part
Fit into these shoes
When you look down
And just see what’s to lose

Peter Pan was right
Everyone is in a hurry
To find someone
To make things work
And somehow friends
Are lost and left behind
And I’m Peter Pan waiting in the wings
Hoping you all slow down
Don’t you realize that you’re missing
What’s really going down

Cuz when I think about growing up
I think of all the doubts
I remember now
What you were all about
How real the pain was
How much I had
To give up— I mean grow for you
How u only liked me on my knees
Constantly apologizing
How when I was sorry
And I was always sorry
You got off on making me crawl

And how my friend got lost and left behind
How when these things happen friends are hard to find

I try to explain
What it was like
that being with you
Was like playing 2 truths and a lie
Tell me which version of you
Do I get this time

And I survived 27
Just in time
And those friends were hard to find

But atleast I figured out
The truth
In your lie
It was that Peter Pan was right
Peter Pan was right

Everyone is in a hurry
To find someone
To make things work
And somehow friends
Are lost and left behind
And I’m Peter Pan waiting in the wings
Hoping you all slow down
Don’t you realize that you’re missing
You’re missing what it’s really all about
Don’t you realize
You’ve left me out

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Undone
Gotta cut away
This feeling of waiting
Everyone is just waiting
For things to get better
For things to get worse
For Jesus to come save them
For someone to lift the curse
What are you waiting for?

We are just waiting
For love gone wrong to return
With the anxiety of the chase
That reminds us
Of things that can’t be undone
This can’t be undone

Will it get better
Or just enough to get me through
Waiting to be saved
Waiting for you

When that world ends
It’ll come down to just me and you
And I’ll have waited out eternity
Just to be undone by you

Go live in delusion
Like a girl playing wedding
Trying on the dress for size

Help yourself to the delusion
That I’m gonna turn blue
Won’t even breathe
Will I sit and wait for you

Did you really think
I’d give up eternity
Just for you?
I’d do it just for you

I hope that she’s nice to you
In a way I never was
And I hope she’d give up
Eternity & everything
Just to wait for you.
Does she wait for you
Like I do?
Does she do it better
Than I do?
Would she wait it out
Just to be undone by you?
What are you waiting for?
Cuz there will come a day
Where I won’t do this anymore
No I won’t feel it anymore
So tell me what you’re waiting for.

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Drowning
Tidal waves
Crashing over me
I fantasize about doing what she did
Going out at 3am
And letting it go

The ocean would be calm
Satisfied after it took me home

Chorus: I can’t make these doubts go away
Tired out my 911 calls
Too paralyzed to help myself
See beyond these walls
Everything is tied up (X2)
The rope around my hands gets tighter
And I cannot find you here (X2)

Is this my lesson?
Is this my punishment?
I would’ve given up for so much less
Just take the pressure off
Stop the pain for just one day
Let me catch a breath that’s left
Give me one moment of calm
Make the voices stop
Take the pressure off

Chorus

Architecture of my heart
Built on sand castles falling apart
Another Day
When my restless mind
Plays hide-and-go-seek with time
And I cannot find you here (X2)

The rope around my neck gets tighter
And I cannot find you here (X2)

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Outrun me: (Breadcrumbs)
You got stronger
So much stronger than me
Cuz you are always the one
The one I feed

And breadcrumbs you used
To get me by made me weak

Chorus: And this is the last chance you’ll have
To figure this out
This is the last crumb I’ll leave for you lying about
This is your last chance
Better make it count

Keep running away
Go on and pretend
You can outrun your demons within
That you can outrun me
That you can outrun this

That killing someone off
Actually kills them dead
That you’re not just giving them power
To hold it over your head
I thrive in your darkness
That only you and I see
Because it’s the only thing I have from u
That you’ve given just to me

Chorus

Bridge: There’s a fine line between
Self-destruction and self-preservation
There’s self-medication
And then there’s self-annihilation
But you can’t separate living
With just getting by

For now I’ll leave it in the dark
Cuz it’s the only thing you’ve given to me
Yeah, looks like I’ll be leaving
Nothing, but crumbs of you behind when I leave
Cuz this was the last time
Yeah, this was the last time

This is the last time
I’ll get by with breadcrumbs
You left behind
This is the last time
I pretend your dark
Is some gift just for me
This is the last time
That loving you
Will destroy me
This is the last time
That you get to outrun me
This is the last time
That I leave any part of me behind
This is the last time
Tell me did you figure it out
Tell me did I even count

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Daddy's Girl
I’m afraid, I’m just like you
Daddy’s girl
Without a daddy to hold on to

Those secrets we know
That part of your world
You let me see, yeah just me
That part of you that died
Right there in front of me

You set the blue print
Of the duality
Of the hunter and hunted
The protector and destroyer
I was stuck inside
Some Dickens' novel
Where it was the best of times
Or the worst of times and nothing
Ever in between

You were my baptism by fire
For how cold and cruel
The world could be

Chorus: The shadows that followed
Those monkeys on your back
They weren’t buried
Buried when you left
We forget we are not our bodies
And that our spirits live on
And that we can still do damage
Even after we are gone

I get the attachment
To you all these years
Both of us misfits
Who never belonged here X2

So tell me
Did you really buy into
What they did to you
What they did to you
We were always seduced by the same
Dark mistress to stray
Vagabond escapists we were

I’m afraid I’m just like you
But I wouldn’t trade it
Even if I wanted to

Chorus

But through all the fight and fury
I was always still
A daddy's girl
Just my daddy’s girl
I’m afraid, I’m just like you
All the mood swings
Thirst for cruelty
All your emotional weaponry
You left me your legacy
Just a daddy’s girl
Just my daddy’s girl
And I’m afraid I’ll end up
With someone just like you
So charming
And so cruel

Chorus

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Dreams and Addictions
So what happened to now
I’m on the floor?
So what happened to now
That you’re suddenly okay?
What happened to us
Was I just a memory you loved?
Was it ever really me, or
Did I make a better story?

You’re a dream I used to chase
Just I drug I craved the taste

You packed up, said your goodbyes
I was still trying to figure out
If you were coming closer
Or you were just leaving me behind
Were you leaving me behind?

So happy for you
So happy for you,
I was so easy to get over

I confused being the one
Who wanted you the most
With the one who was just
Better for ya
Must find life outside these letters
Must find meaning in what could be better
Please tell me this gets better

You’re a dream I used to chase
Just I drug I missed the taste

So what happened to us,
Was I just a memory you loved?
Was it ever really me, or
Did I make –
Was I just one hell of a story?

So happy for you
So happy for you,
I was so easy to get over

You’re a dream I used to chase
Just I drug I can’t stand the taste of

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Echo
I’m afraid you’ll always remember me
With my heart always so heavy
With you, with you
As much as it kills me to raise it
This white flag
This towel must be thrown now
At you, at you

Chorus: I’m packing up all the guilt
All the hurt and disappointment
Over you, over you
And moving out west
Across the country
Starting off fresh
Just to forget you

The only way to save me
Is to kill off the you inside me
Swallow the lump
You left in my throat
But all I see is you in everyone
(where’d you come from)
Worst of all, I see you in me
your words like echoes I hear them
Throughout everything
Are you listening now?
It’s time that you listen to me.

Yeah, I gotta let you go
Because I will always love you
But I just don’t like you anymore
I just don’t like you anymore

Let me say it enough so
It can echo throughout everything I do
And I don’t forget that
While I try to forget you
One day I’ll forgot you

Did you hear the echo this time?
Did my cruelty remind you
Of how you used to be
So I’m moving out west
Across the country
Starting off fresh
Just to forget you
One day I’ll forgot you

Did you hear the echo this time
Every time you hear the echo
You’ll remember that I love you
But I just don’t like you anymore

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Before the Lights Go Out
When I go
I want you to know
I let it hurt for too long

Remember me
Before the lights went out
Before the blood & life drained out
It was in my hands
I’m no longer in yours

And how could I do this
To you, especially
Just trust me
It was my protective instincts

Every day I was trapped
Every that you punished
Was my voluntary death
at someone else’s hands
(remember when I was in ur hands?)

I’m so sorry for your loss
No one will love you quite as much
It’s true, it’s true
But this way
No one will hurt you like I do
Don’t let em hurt you like I do

When I meet the soil
When I meet the fire
You’ll know I bowed out gracefully
Just another shot of whiskey
This next chapter, I go alone
I go it alone

We get wrapped up in the fiction
Tireless make believe
But there’s too much truth
In our story
For either one of us to leave
And when I go

Remember me
Before the lights went out
Before the blood & life drained out
It was in my hands
I’m no longer in yours

You’ll forever be the knot
In my heart
That’s kept me from slipping
And falling apart
Now let me go,
It’s time to let me go

It’s okay to feel relieved
It’s okay to go on, just believe
These mistakes, they were my own

I’ll save you a seat
On the other side
Don’t want you to hurry
Just take your time
One day the right song will play
The perfect letter will be read
And it’ll be our time again
But until then

Remember me
Before the lights went out
Before the blood & life drained out
It was in my hands
I’m no longer in yours
It’s time to let me go
I’m slipping through your hands

© 2013 Aminah & Fox Hunt Records, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Track Name: Na-Ta-Sha
I called you just to say
I never wanted it to end that way
I called you just to say
I’ve missed you almost every day
That all the blood on the moon
Won’t scare me away

I called you just to say
All those letters – I never threw them away
I called you just to say
That I finally figured it out
What all those fights were really all about
That the hurt in your voice was real
And pushing is just how you deal
I called you just to say
I love you with all I have

I called you just to say
That I’ll be by your side always
Even when you’re wrong, my love
Even when you’re so fucking wrong
And that you’ve been the one all along
And nothing else could do
And no one will compare to you
And even though you don’t get it now
And even if I’m wrong
Know that I loved you all the way through

How could you
How could you dare ask me to give you away?
How could you just ask me to walk away?
When I called you just to say
That I loved you all the way

So te liguei pra dizer
Que te amo outra vez
Te amo, te amo toda vez

I called you just to say
Maybe we’ll try again some other day?
But if this is really the end now
And if it’s really over
Just know that I loved you all the way